Alt-AltComMoCult

watching Irréversible.

Has anyone seen the latest ad for Just For Men hair products? The one with the couple fencing? I couldn't find a video link, but the rough idea follows:

Man and woman fencing. Woman pins man with foil and removes his protective
face-mask. Reveals grey hair. Man shamed. Gives him Just for Men and he looks younger and hot. Match resumed. Man checkmates woman (is "checkmates" a verb?). Woman exclaims "you nailed me!".

absolute fucking classic. it's almost as good as the Centrelink "You Idiot" one. follow this link http://australia.justformen.com if you want to write to the company and congratulate them on their subtle advert.

If anyone has memories of their first viewing of the ad, please post them on the comment board.

Ok, so in a recent escapade to my fridge, to get some food, i found that all of my food was moved to the top part of the fridge along with another persons belongings. There was nothing at all in the space where i normally put my food, and it left me wondering, what in the wide wide world of sports is going on? I then noticed an emptied 12 pack of bavaria beer or something. I put 2 and 2 together, and realised that some junction had put beer in my fridgespace. Next time i see beer in my fridgespace that isnt beer i bought, i am going to put it out on the road bottle by bottle. A 6 pack i can handle, make room for it in my fridge i welcome you, but when it comes to a movage of all my fridgley goods to another section completely, im going to get primitive. If you cant fit a carton in your fridgespace dont buy one to store it. Or if worst comes to worst just fucken ask me and we can sort something out.

Time For My first blog on here folks. Looks like the times are in ruins, Coup shits on Macca, Macca shits on Coup, and Toms having a hard time getting his tongue around Espanol, amongst other things. Yes, as long as i continue to see Coup and Macca shitting on each other, and as long as i see someone as unlucky as Tom in the chicks department, I will remain a happy poster. At the moment, I am one Happy Poster.

This article is based on a playstation game

North Perth - Literally hours after losing by 20 points in Tennessee, Macca's Washington Bullets returned to the nation's capital and defeated Memphis by 6 points in the 2nd game of thursday's NBA Live 06 double header.

Player of the Game Shawn Marion had 19 points, 4 steals and 4 assists in the winning cause, while Tracey McGrady had 27 for the Grizzlies. A close game throughout, Jermaine O'Neal and Elton Brand had 12 rebounds each while the former also led the game with 5 assists. Chauncey Billups, who's sacking was aborted due to lack of time, tried to mount a case for his honour with 22 points and 3 steals.

"He still had 8 turnovers," MacNeil reminded his critics rooting for Billups. "Piece of shit. But he made some big shots, yeah. Lucky i'm a generous and understanding man, huh?"

Duncan had 5 fouls in the first quarter, inspiring opposing forward Elton Brand to nickname him "Crap Defender". Brand had 3 blocks.

Macca's Bullets (1-1) 80
Coup's Grizzlies (1-1) 74

name pts reb ast
Y.Ming 8 - 6 - 4 ~~~~ J.O'Neal 9 - 12 - 5
T.Duncan 4 - 5 - 3 ~~~~ E.Brand 9 - 12 - 0
P.Gasol 10 - 1 - 2 ~~~~ S.Marion 19 - 3 - 4
T.McGrady 27 - 3 -24 ~~~~ L.James 21 - 3 - 1
J.Kidd 21 - 3 - 4 ~~~~ C.Billups 22 - 1 - 1

This article is based on a playstation game

North Perth - Matt Couper's highly touted NBA Live 06 Memphis Grizzlies All-Star team hosted Macca's Washington Bullets this thursday afternoon and treated them with questionable hospitality.
Jason Kidd led the Grizzlies in the first quarter with 10 points and 4 assists as they began proceedings with a 21-14 flash. The Bullets had a better 2nd quarter, with Lebron James connecting with 4 three-pointers, but the Grizzlies again outscored the Bullets in the third with the emergence of Tim Duncan. With only one turnover and three steals in the fourth quarter, the Grizzlies closed with 35 points and secured a comfortable 20 point win in the 111-91 All-Star Series opener. Jason Kidd left with "Player of the Game" honours.

"Kidd's 9 three pointers were the key," Grizzlies Coach Couper said in a post-game phone interview. "We just got away too early for the Bullets. Although it evened out as the game progressed, the first quarter was where it was won. I also thought (Washington's) Chauncey Billups played like shit. 9 turnovers? 37% from the field? 2 rebounds? Pathetic."

Bullets Grandmaster James MacNeil agreed with Couper. "I fucken took a gamble picking Chauncey Billups in the draft, and the prick's let me down. I look like an amateur. What good is a point guard if he's gonna give them the ball? They played with 6 men tonight. Congratulations Chauncey. Your plane ticket's been cancelled. You can stay in Memphis if you love them so much. Fuck off!"

Speculation that MacNeil is scheming to lure Dwyane Wade out of the free agent pool in replacement of Billups was fuelled by his post-game ranting. "Dwyane Wade! Dwyane Wade! I fucken could have picked Dwyane Wade in the draft instead of Billups. I could have picked Michael Doleac to play point for us! Does anyone have Michael Doleac's number? Hey Chauncey, you listening?"

Coup's Grizzlies travel to Detroit later this week to face Tom's Pistons featuring the second coming of Shaq and Kobe. The Bullets return to action when Macca finishes sulking.


Coup's Grizzlies (1-0) 111
Macca's Bullets (0-1) 91

name pts reb ast
Y.Ming 23 - 11 - 4 ~~~~ J.O'Neal 16 - 12 - 5
T.Duncan 26 - 9 - 3 ~~~~ E.Brand 8 - 5 - 2
P.Gasol 12 - 4 - 7 ~~~~ S.Marion 23 - 1 - 3
T.McGrady 10 - 3 - 4 ~~~~ L.James 27 - 4 - 1
J.Kidd 38 - 4 - 5 ~~~~ C.Billups 17 - 2 - 3

Monday April 10, 2006.

Right now the Chicago Bulls have 6 games left in the 2005-06 NBA season. The Philadelphia 76ers also have 6 games left. Through 76 games, both teams have won 35 games and lost 41. And both being Eastern Conference teams, they are currently fighting for the 8th and last playoff spot to be decided in just over a week.

The Utah Jazz and the NO/Oklahoma City Hornets both have 37-39 records -- two wins better than the Bulls and Sixers -- but will each fail to make the playoffs regardless because they are in the more competative Western Conference.

The east coast / west coast talent-division in American basketball seems to reflect a similar sporting-success pattern in the southern hemisphere. In the current season of AFL football, "western" teams (the West Coast Eagles, Fremantle Dockers and Western Bulldogs) have an average winning percentage of 83%, while their eastern-states blood-enemies only average 42.3%. Although the Sydney Swans defeated the Eagles in last years grand final, the past is evidently past.

In an Anglo-American-centric view of world history, a similar sad story is told.

Is it really a case of the east being "least" and the west conversely "best"? Will Victorian football fans pick flaws in my geographical reasoning? Will Allen Iverson get a chance to repeat his league best playoff scoring average from last year, and lead the 76ers back to the NBA Finals?

That's some deep shit worth contemplating.

Yo
welcome to the Alternative to the Alternatives to Commercially Motivated Culture blog. Too many rules and regulations? Not enough of Tom's emo critiques? Need to waste time venting your pipes?
invite all of your friends and lube-up for dialogue!